:: Mon arbre ::

:: Tuesday, April 24, 2007 ::

Une tendinite et demi. Mes deux poignets. Maudit que ça tape mal.

:: 11:20 AM (0) comments ::

I expected to do more of my day... I arranged the stuff for insurances, went to trade for a cristal ball... the guy is not interested by much except my runes, and ehe doesn't offer much on them... no trade done, yet.

I bought a new library and a chair, which should be here tomorrow. Added to the new table (and old at the same time) and the two chair from my gramma, it should be ok. Some bigger stuff from my father will be here later.

The books piling on the floor and any shelf available are starting to get me bored.

I didn't walk that much, but my back hurts. I've passed two hours in the bath, reading. Really interesting book anyway. I think I've hurt myself yesterday: my back pain seems to come from the right side, where I think I stretched a muscle. My neck hurts, too. I'm not sure I go for tai-chi tonight...

And less down to earth

Magic calls easily and often, now. As well as desire... I guess something within me calls for ectasy. I feel like I'm on a brink. kinda hard to describe. I haven't done enough magic recently, and with my thoughts running wild for so long and my recents readings, I feel something coming. I don't have the inspiration - not yet anyway - but I do feel on the brink. I'm wondering if I've forgotten how to bring it forth. I suppose there is too much doubt in me, right now. Not about the reality of magic, but about the path to follow, the way to choose. I've closed myself a bit too much recently, and pay for it. Cycles... I finished one, not long ago. A spiral path, toward the outside, toward the inside. I search for myself, and I'm good at eluding. Sometimes, I even come to wonder what my doubts are, for I don't know anymore. Well, I've seen thoses feels before... on a spiral path. I know I grow, even if I can't see it all from inside. I curious about what I'm looking like.

I've donned a mask, today. One made with my face. Not the one of an ingeneer, for a change, but the one of a negociator. I'm not getting bad at it... the more I realize I wear various masks, in everyday life, the more I question what I am. It reminds me of some of Rialians writings.

I was lacking pride far too much for far too long, and now have to control it, for it claims more that it's rightful place. I don't want to be either too prideful or too humble... I wish to do more, to be able to claim more, and it pulls me foward strongly, which is good. But I have a hard time choosing a path. I have to ask myself consciously "what do I believe in?" I feel myself spliting and becoming more complete, but every foot put foward is harder than before. I do not want to half learn things, to simplify what should not be, or complicate what is simple. Beliefs thend to be feelings and pulls.

"Split yourself
Between worlds
Between realms
It is by splitting yourself that you will be whole
It is in multiplicity that you will find Oneness."

had She said...

I feel doubt, far too much. What it this doubt in me about looking stupid? I had left it behind a long time ago... I look stupid anyway, except with the proper mask. I fear asking too much of myself and loosing that confortable possibility of talking of my problems to others. Hard balance.

I wrote a lot... mostly when I think all of this could have been summarized by : "I search for myself and am on the brink of something good, a move foward on the spiral".

At least, a start of a feeling of oneness comes, and I know it come through initiation and practice, not thoery (and I read, oh, how can I run like that?). And it's defenitly weird.

"Know thyself", hu? That sounds sooooo easy.... And so many years ago I tought I knew myself. What a fool I was! I've lurned pride, and a dangerous pleasure for power, and, most of all, that I was ABLE.

I have time right now, but how to do the best of it? Magic call, but what the hell should I do??? Anything would be a good start, I suppose. Some music, maybe. And see what comes.

And I just tought of it... lets get my cards out.

:: 3:23 PM (0) comments ::

Flamme, ma petite chatte de trois mois quelques...

:: 10:55 AM (0) comments ::

Back in Québec later today.

Well, I might have to find a new job, but at least I'll have insurance before I find one... I have so many thing to do, so many things to get which have waited too long. I have finally copied the notes of the 5000 dollars classes... I couldn't pay for the classes... and I got my mother a copy, too.

Needs:

Backpack
Sac de couchage
Passeport
Boots for work
A pair of pants
More training, and something rougher
Losing weigt (got like 20 pounds to loose, but that won't be long once I start a sport)

Negociating and trading for a crystal ball. I saw a nice one, but too expensive. I'm sure I can get a very good price... Wich might include stuff I do, some kind of publicity.

Varnishing the table legs
Repairing, sanding, painting and varnishing the chairs
Put a new crushion cover on them
Varnishing the cutting board
Sanding, scraping and varnishing the old box I found for my teas
Installing the system for stabilizing one of my tools
See if I could manage to use it for sanding

Making lanterns (2 contracts to meet, 1 personnal projet)
Making bootles (1 contract to meet, yet)
Painting
Drawing
Writing for my website
Copiing my grimoire
Sculpting masks ans figurines
Wirting more in the GN plants system
GN costume (might reuse something)

:: 7:54 AM (0) comments ::

à Montréal.

Le doigt va de mieux en mieux, j'ai hâte d'en récupérer l'usage!

:: 7:26 AM (0) comments ::

mal au doigt

:: 8:39 PM (0) comments ::

Mal au haut du dos hier. Ça faisait longtemps que ça ne m'étais pas arrivé, autre que des douleurs musculaires. J'ai beau ne pas avoir de job, avoir un tas de trucs à faire, c'est incroyable à quel point ça avance pas vite! J'ai peut-être trop à faire... trop éparpillé. J'ai mal à la tête... je vais ouvrir les fenêtres un peu plus tard.

Cette fin de semaines, fêtes à Québec, l'autre àprès, départ pour Montréal. Encore une visite chez l'acuponctrice.

:: 8:45 AM (0) comments ::

Par Gaia Consort:

Change the Way Things Are

Down in the dark, in the boiler room of plenty
We stoke the banker's fires
Soaked in the sweat of the working four and twenty
Each day until the pyre
Oh but don't you Dream of the day when the watchword is “deliverance”
and we finally take what's ours.

You can believe in magic, you can believe in fancies
Call it a “higher love” but people gotta change the way things are

What will they do oh to stem the mighty anger
When we wake the teeming hoard
Keep us asleep while the soothing tones of angels
Sing “Wait for your reward”
We don't hear them Here in the world while we feed the hungry turbines
We're pounding out our swords

You can believe in magic, you can believe in fancies
Call it a “higher love” but people gotta change the way things are

No More Gods and no more masters, burn the bodies and scatter the ashes

Make no mistake there are those who would deny us
Them that own the tools
Dare you believe that liberation will just find us
And a crumb will fall to you?
No, we take it! And when we hear “Give it back and trust our kindness.”
Let us not be fools.

You can believe in magic, you can believe in fancies
Call on a “higher love” but people gotta change the way things are

People gonna change the way things are..

10/15/03

:: 9:37 AM (0) comments ::

Back from Montreal.

No job right now, not enough job for me where I work... I guess I'll just do some of that personnal stuff that has been waiting long. I hope a contract comes soon, though. I might have to find a new job. Some have been pffered to me while I was working, so I guess it shouldn't be too hard. I just hope I'll have the chance to borrow and copy some infos I have no way of getting elsewhere before I have to get a new job. The note of a class that costs too much for me to attend.

:: 10:05 AM (1) comments ::